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i really like this poem... cause its pretty amusing:
Fat As A Plum
by Henry
I am fat as a plum
Wakes up for my midnight snack, stumbles down the stairs
Gets myself up and sits on my dinning chair
To eat my cakes, ice cream, and candies
Filled with sweets, fruits and honey
I am fat as a plum
Goes to work, I eat when I make a phone call
I hang pictures of hamburgers and fries on my wall
Apple cores and banana peels cover my desk
The rest of the food...what rest?
I am fat as a plum
Lunch time, I get off my seat and runs down the steps while loosening my pants
Dashes to the nearest hot dog stand
Five buns with dogs and 4 cans of coke
Ladies says, "That will be $18.00," uh oh, I think I'm broke
I am fat as a plum
Runs to the supermarket, where shall I go first?
Produce, vegetables, sweets, nah, something that will satisfy my thirst!
Packs my cart with foods of all sort
Lines up at the cashier but I think I'm a few hundred short
I am fat as a plum
Gets back in my car, driving home south
Grabs a bag of Doritos and stuffs a handful in my mouth
An "In and Out" on the left side just passed me
Makes a U - Turn, pulls up, "Hey ten number three's!"
I am fat as a plum
Parks my car, opens the door, heads for the fridge
Stuffs some ham, mashed potatoes, and why not, some raw fish sticks
I than go to the scale and sets my feet straight
Looks down at the indicator, uh oh, says "Too much to weigh!" The Illiterate Elf Of The Night
by Henry
There once was a small critter in the forest
Wore a pointy hat, a green vest, and some silk shoes, very well dressed!
This critter slept under a redwood tree
He picked up a book on "Magic", but realized he couldn't read
Those funny symbols on the page made no sense
The elf tried to understand the symbols, yet the book was just too tense
One sunny day, a young lady knocked on the door, made of wood
"Excuse me Mr. Elf, may you please help me, if you could."
The Elf, widened his tiny eyes, thought that he was still asleep
"My my, I think I'm in a dream for I have never seen such beauty!"
The lady asked if the elf could read minds
"You seem like a nice, sweet, and lovely elf, oh did I mention kind?"
"Read my mind, tell me where my husband is, I haven't seen him for 14 years!"
The elf, sensed that he may be with another women, sleeping, drinking beer...
Tears fell down the lady's benevolent face when she heard this,
"Oh, please set a drift on memory bliss!"
The young lady was drawn into the elf's mysterious sea of dreams
But the elf answered back, "Oh please don't love me, for I cannot read."
That afternoon, the elf went to the marketplace, feeling all alone
He looked at the signs with its colorful symbols, "How I wish I could read," he moaned
Noises filled the atmosphere, as creatures sold meat, toys, and bread
Suddenly, a short little dwarf walked up to him and said,
"Hello sir, I was wondering, should I sell my soul to the devil?"
"Why young lad, let me read your soul, and I shall tell you if you are at that level."
The elf gave the dwarf a serene smile that was surely in need
"Don't sell your soul, it is pure and filled with great deeds!"
"Why Mr. Elf, you sure are a magnificent soul reader, may I be your friend?"
The elf gave an angered and sorrowful face to the dwarf, "I am all bent..."
Hatred and death soon gathered over the air that was so pristine
"I cannot be your friend, for I cannot read."
Clouds began to cover the sky as the elf walked home through the convoluted forest paths
"I cannot read books, signs, NOTHING! I am an outcast!"
The rains of tears pore down on the forest bed, the tears from his tiny eyes
Out of thin air, an angelic figure appeared, "I am here to ease your cry!"
"Now young elf, I want you to read my heart, will you?"
The elf was astonished??d the heart of an angel, with such beaut?
Amazed was what the angel's heart told,
The face of her was indescribable, her wings so magnificent and bold
"Why, your heart tells me that I'm a true, kind - hearted elf,
But how can I believe your heart, when I don't believe myself?"
"You have read a young lady's mind, a dwarf's soul, and now an angel's heart."
With a glimpse of an eye, the angel disappeared, and the sky covered its blanket of dark
"I can read a mind, a soul, and a heart, but not a book..." 18 Hits to Oblivion
By Henry
The seeds of evil burns deep in the bottom of the pits of abyss
Lurking for revenge and rancor on the souls that cross my path
Who dare seek my intuition, for mine shall annihilate yours at the drop of my Leonheart
Yes, my energy...there is no equal in this realm called "universe"
Summon upon the atramentous, the ravenous beast that all species hide their heads in cowardness
This minion...shall dawn on your heart of fortitude and sanctum, and heed its heinous head out
and slice, no pierce, no slash, no scorch your body 18 times, and send you to oblivion
The oblivion where souls are tortured in the flames of cataclysm, where it shall weigh less than nothing
Finally, this catastrophe ends...and my Renzouzuken has manifested its unmatched superiority...~Nevermore~
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